Far too many households these days are seeing troubling scenarios play out. One scenario leads some to say to themselves, “My husband is an addict,” or something along those lines, whether it’s a husband, wife, mother, son, etc. Another situation that’s arising quite often is leading others to say things to themselves things like, “My wife is depressed.” Once again, the actual person in this statement could be a mother, father, daughter or anyone else. The bottom line is that substance abuse, addiction and mental health problems are rising quickly in the United States, and the pandemic that’s creating havoc in everyone’s life in one way or another is only exacerbating these difficulties.
Another little-known reality to those who do not work in the addiction or mental health worlds is that most of the time, the people who are seeking help for these diseases are not those who ultimately need it. Instead, it’s the spouses, parents, children, siblings or other loved ones whose concern grows to the point where they finally feel the need to do something, anything they possibly can to help, but most really have no idea where to start. Perhaps that’s how you found yourself here, reading this.
Swift Recovery Solutions has heard statements such as “My husband is an addict” many times when people have reached out to us for help. Below we’d like to offer a few ideas for how to handle this extremely delicate and sensitive situation so that you can convince your loved one to get that needed help before things get much worse.
1. Do Your Research
Simply because you find yourself saying, “My husband is an addict,” doesn’t mean that your loved one is an addict or suffering from a mental health condition. You should start figuring this out by doing some research on your own so you can obtain some level of perspective before moving forward with any other steps. There is a wealth of information available online, almost regardless of the type of potential addiction or mental illness. For example, Swift Recovery Solutions has a Members site that you can sign up for and read through a library of information that may help.
2. Speak to Professionals
While reading the search engine return results for the search, “my husband is an addict” can lead to some informative data, the bottom line remains that you’re not a clinician, and you’re not necessarily qualified to make a full diagnosis. That said, you are someone whose instinct should be trusted if you’re concerned that something is very wrong. After doing some reading, reach out to some professionals to describe your situation. That will help you obtain more of an individualized analysis of what’s happening in your home. Once again, you can always contact the team of addiction and mental health professionals at Swift Recovery Solutions to tell us your story. We’ll listen and give you the honest feedback that you so badly need right now, whether you’re dealing with addiction or mental health challenges.
3. Have a Plan Ready
Almost regardless of whether your loved one is dealing with an addiction or a mental health problem – or both – you likely already understand that at some point, the two of you are going to have to discuss the situation. We’ll get to that below, but in the meantime, there’s always a possibility that he or she will agree with what you’re saying and immediately agree to get help. That’s not all that likely, but you need to be prepared for just about anything at this point, and that’s one possibility. If that is the response, then you need to have a treatment facility at the ready to admit your loved one quickly, before he or she has a change of mind. You should also have a plan for an intervention ready in case your loved one does not agree with you, but once again, we will explain that below.
4. Have Your Discussion
We know that this has already been extremely difficult. Saying things like, “My husband is an addict,” or “My wife is depressed” without any irony is a very challenging situation to encounter. When you get to the point where you’re going to talk to the person about this problem, armed with the information you already have, then you need to do so delicately. If you’ll notice, we used the words “talk to” instead of “confront” the person because you should not view this as a confrontation, or else the entire situation will devolve into something adversarial and you won’t make any progress. Simply lay out your concerns at a time when your loved one can listen, stay calm, don’t judge and don’t accuse. Even if you get an angry response, do your best to keep your cool and simply tell this person that you love him/her and that you hope help is on the horizon.
5. Have an Intervention if Necessary
If your discussion does not go well, you shouldn’t hound this person relentlessly about the situation or you’re going to get shut out. Instead, proceed to the other part of the plan you put together beforehand and prepare for your intervention. You should only do this with the help of a professional intervention specialist and you should gather as many people as possible whom your loved one trusts and loves as well. Everyone should speak and tell their story about how this addiction or mental health problem has hurt them, and hopefully at that point the person struggling will realize that it’s time to get some help. If he or she does, then once again, you need to act immediately and get that person off to a treatment center before there’s time to change his or her mind.
How Can I Possibly Afford This?
Other than thinking, “My husband is an addict” or “My wife is depressed,” you may also be thinking that there’s no way you’ll ever be able to afford treatment if it turns out that your loved one needs help. Fortunately, that’s not the case in many situations. A lot of health insurance policies cover loved ones as you likely already know, and a lot of them also cover addiction and mental health treatments. Of course, every policy is different, but if you reach out to Swift Recovery Solutions, we can help you obtain an understanding of what’s going to be covered and what may not be before you ever commit to anything. At the end of the day, money concerns should not prevent needed treatment. We can help. We will listen. Contact us to find out more today.
